Asma & Farrukh: My First Time Attending a Pakistini Wedding

Congratulations Asma & Farrukh!

Five Things I Learned at a Pakistani Wedding

1. Do not arrive on time.

I'm a person who gets nervous and anxious when I'm running late, so I always try to arrive on time. Especially growing up in a family where being late is not only rude, but disrespectful, I always paid attention to the time when it came to big events. Though I didn't know what to expect, I was quite relieved to see a "programme" on the invitations as it had everything that was going to take place, nicely scheduled. It read, "7pm reception of the Barat, 8pm Nikkah, dinner 8:30pm." I arrived 10 to 7pm and noticed that the parking lot of the Royal Place Banquet Hall was basically empty. I triple-checked the address, doubled-checked the time, and looked around to see if cars were coming in. Nothing. I got out of the car, went into the building, and saw wedding decorations (phew), and no more than 5 people. 

It turns out that even arriving an hour late, is considered early. The Barat reception is where the groom arrives, and he is expected to be late, and I mean 1 - 2 hours late, not 10 minutes. Apparently, it is the norm in their culture to arrive much later than the time stated. 

2. Cover your skin. Wear bold colours.

Good thing I did a bit of research on this before deciding on what I was going to wear. Here are my suggestions and opinions from what I observed. Do not show your shoulders, bare back, or cleavage, so do not wear a dress that's strapless, backless, short, or low-cut. In other words, nothing revealing please, as it is a formal religious event. I'd suggest wearing a dress that goes below your knees, at least. I noticed that the dresses and gowns worn were all very long. Wear nice, bright, and bold colours. Sparkles, shimmers, and shiny accessories are great. 

3. The appetizer dishes are endless! Remember to save space for the entree. 

Oh my goodness. Expect a lot of food. In Chinese cultures, we usually have 1 or 2 dishes as the appetizer and the rest are part of the main course dishes. Here, there were like 5 dishes that were brought to the table for us and we could call for seconds, thirds..etc. (see pictures below). In this banquet, the main course consisted of getting up and filling your plates as it was buffet style. So, you definitely want to save space for that (and for dessert)! 

kebabs

Fried fish

Chicken

4. Do not expect to see the bride come out... until nearly the end of the night. 

Wow, this is very different from western weddings and Chinese weddings where the bride eats at the head table with everyone else and maybe even play some games. At this wedding, the bride had to sit in a room and she was not allowed to come out. Thankfully, guests (including males) were allowed to go visit her though. Asma, the bride, didn't even know when she'd be coming out. At first, she was told she could come out after the legal marriage papers were signed, but nope, she was still in the room when I was trying out desserts. 

5. Expect to see the bride cry.

It is a very emotional time for the bride, when she does come out. I loved her grand entrance and how everyone had their attention on her as we had been waiting all night. The groom was on stage waiting for her as she walked towards him. This is the day where she official joins the groom's family and will be spending her first night living together, without her family. The entire time that she was entering, she had her head down. Even when she made it to the seat beside the groom and photographers were taking pictures, she still looked sad. Now, even if the bride is happy, it is still the norm to look sad and possibly even cry.

There are a few other notable events that night which I haven't mentioned. In western weddings, the bride and the groom would do the paper work together, but this was done separately as the bride was in the room. As religion plays a huge part in this ceremony, a pastor was invited to say prayers. This lasted for ~10 min. It's just so interesting learning about different cultures.

Dishes from the self-serve buffet:

Cold dishes

Salad

What are those peachy-looking fruits(?) with the black seeds? I had no idea, if you do, please let me know.

basmati rice

basmati rice

THREE different types of rice to try from! Wow!

One of the many types of curry

spinach and cheese

This picture does not do justice to how great it tastes. This made me get another spoonful of rice!

naan

And when I saw all these naan, I literally had to resist myself from jumping up and down. This.....was my plate of heaven.

My first plate

I was already quite full from the appetizer dishes. But seeing all the yummy food, I couldn't resist another two plates, especially when there was naan!

Desserts: By this time, I was stuffed with a very satisfied tummy. There were two types of desserts offered along with plates of fruits. The desserts looked so unique, apparently they're sweet flour balls in syrup (?) and the other one is in sweet milk. 

I did try a bit of this and it was VERY sweet! 

Desserts in this culture is definitely too sweet for me! 

Not knowing anyone else there besides the bride and groom, I thought I would be such an outcast. After all, I was the only east Asian there (besides one of the photographers). But I felt so at ease because all of their family and friends were so nice and friendly to me. They had such patience describing the food and traditions to me and I learned quite a bit that night. 

I met Asma back in 2009 at school. She gets my weirdest sense of humour, the ones even I get confused over. We share a unique friendship in that we're able to genuinely make fun of each other. She is easy to talk to because she speaks her mind which allows me to speak mine not only without hesitation, but knowing that she won't judge or be offended. The nickname she gave me is Muffin because everyday in class, I'd always have a muffin, and I call her Chilly. I don't remember why though.

In a very short amount of time, she planned this wonderful and memorable event. I like her confidence, "I don't need a year to plan a day" haha! I'm glad to be a small part of it - working out at Steve Nash together. 

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My dear Asma, thank you for having me here on your special day. I wish you a happily ever after with Farrukh.

I leave you with a short conversation we had on MSN that still makes me smile.

Asma: can i ask u a question?

me: yes
*asma is typing*
me: type faster.... or are fingers are too fat to move any faster?
asma: ...........